My First Baptism‏

 Our lessons this week consisted of the Martinez Family.  Yep, they were the only investigators we got to teach this week.  We do have tons of potentials we are building up.  I'm just praying the fruits of our labors are shown sooner rather than later.  But the whole mission only had five baptisms this week.  We had three of them  :-)

The baptism and all the stuff leading up to it was really quite fun and amazing though.  It turns out you can't perform a wedding on the same day you get the liscence so we had to go back to the courthouse to get another copy.  That was fun.  Marriage stuff was worked out pretty well though.   For baptismal interviews, we went on exchanges and I went up to the other elder's bike area.  I was with Elder McDonald from Idaho Falls who knows two of the Hermanas from my district.  They all three passed their interviews while I ate pizza at the house of a member who is having tons of troubles with the Book of Mormon.  I ate four whole pieces of pizza.  Elder Tate has been eating super healthy and loosing weight ever since his recent converts called him fat.  I on the other hand, decided that I can be somewhat healthy, but some days, you just need to eat pizza.

Friday we had zone meeting, it was Elder Tate's first time leading zone meeting and stuff.  They grow up so fast.  I taught him how to use knockers on doors.  I'm training him pretty well.

Saturday was basically spent working on getting the baptism all ready.  We made the program and stuff, because the ward isn't organized enough to do it for us.  We set up and filled the font and all, and people showed up and it was a super great baptism.  I baptized Samantha, and I just read over my comps shoulder that he was super nervous about my first baptism.  Years of acting classes really have made something as short as a baptismal prayer super easy.  The primary kids sang I like to Look for Rainbows in Spanish.  I played piano, and all was well. Bishop Martin baptized Jaime, and then Elder Tate baptized Adela.  They loved it, and they were crying afterwards and stuff.  They'll be awesome members to take out teaching with us.

Sunday they got confirmed as members and got the holy ghost!  Hooray!!!  Also I played the organ again.  There's a girl that usually plays the piano (horribly) for sacrament and bishop and wife were having her do it so as not to offend anybody.  Spanish wards are soooo easily offended by tiny little things, so we have to watch our step.  However, at the baptism, President Portillo, the stake president simply told bishop to have me play the organ.  I feel so honored :-)  All is really going great.

Oh yeah, this week was transfers, but our entire district (which is basically our ward)  stayed the exact same.  The only changes were that Elder McKinley left the zone and other minor unimportant details.  But seriously though, I don't really ever want to be a zone leader for my whole mission.  I like prosylting.  I didn't come on a mission to preach to white 18- 21 year olds, but that is basically what AP's and Zone Leaders have to do.  I think I'll aspire to district leader, although me and my comp have made it a goal to get Elder Tate to be Assistant to the President (and I'm not sure if it was a joke or not).  I've noticed my Patriarchial Blessing doesn't really talk about leadership, especially during my mission, and I am perfectly fine with that.

But I should end now, I have to send out a giant e-mail about my first baptism to everybody from everywhere and I only have like twenty minutes to do it, so I love you all, I love the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I love this work.  Amen

Elder David Austin Barlow

Bishop, Martinez Family, Elder Barlow, Elder Tate

A wedding, a wedding, hooray! A wedding, a wedding, today!‏

Well first off, I really want to just go and hear more and more about Thomas Barlow and stuff.  I actually remember reading something about how Lancashire became a big hatting area for a while when I was looking stuff up at college.  That makes sense then, because it was during this Thomas's life that the area became quite hatty.  While we're thinking about family history, we've been asked to have a name that we can take throughout our mission temple trips to do everything for.  Do we have any names I can use? Because I ain't got time to find anyone new in our line, although I did help a Recent Convert find out more about her grandpa this week (that was a cool experience).  So basically let me get this straight, Thomas 2, father of Henry, was born in greater London, Surrey.  They family moved to Lancashire when the hat factory moved.  Thomas was a hatter his whole life then.

That's all super cool.  I just want to sit down and family history all day long, but seriously though.  If you can find a name for me, that would be wonderful!  I don't even want to talk about my week now!

But I will, we had a pretty long normal week.  Wednesday was super great.  I forgot my camera so I can't send pictures this week, but next week you'll get pictures of the Martinez family.  They went to the courthouse and then got married! That was super great, and they are just so amazing that it makes up for not having a super good week.  We just want new investigators, that's all.

Thursday was pretty cool.  We taught five lessons even though we had weekly planning take up time.  We taught this one investigator whose children were baptized a few months ago, and she has basically been avoiding us for lots of reasons.  She's frustrating, but what can you do.  Her children came to church, a family that hasn't been to church for years finally came to church, the Martinez family was at church, so our church attendence was pretty nifty this week.

Friday, because Tate (I mean Zone Leader Elder Tate, the handbook says we need to call them that, and we just laugh at that) is becoming a zone leader, he had to go to mission leaders conference which means I was just with some other elders all day, and it wasn't a very exciting day.  We had like no prosyliting time.

Saturday and Sunday were both pretty slow days.

And I really can't think of anything else to say.  I love you all, and the Lord always shows us grace when things are tiring.  We were biking so much this week because it was the end of the month and were out of miles.  Man I'm sore, and Tate's being all healthy because his converts told him he was fat at a baptism in his old area.  I will probably lose a bit of weight.  And if you ever feel like it, I could use another pair of pants or two.  Just so I have extra for the week.  Church pants, not jeans, I have enough of those.

But I love you all and hope you have a great week!  Gospel is true, and I really have nothing else to say.

Elder David Austin Barlow

Worse than being away on Christmas‏

My favorite holiday!  Memorial day! Man I'm sad I didn't get to be there, and I probably am more sad today than I'd be on Christmas, because seriously, this is my favorite holiday.  Memorial day family traditions seem to outstrip all other holidays.  4th of July, New years, and even Thanksgiving just don't hold a candle to tortellini salad and the Crystal Inn.  Sigh.... But it was a good week nonetheless. And as you can see, P-day is Tuesday this week because yesterday was Memorial day.  I think most people e-mail from libraries.  We e-mail in the English church building.  Its been like forever since p-day, because its been more than a week, so I probs won't remember everything I need to write so we shall see how it goes.  Oh, and mom, I think you misunderstood.  Its not high blood pressure.  Today it was 104, last week was somewhere in the 110's.  How low does it need to be before I can see a doctor to get me off of this medicine?  And LA means less active.  As in the father used to be a member but long since left the church, so we found them and had a fun time.

Using my journal, here is my week.

Monday- Was p-day.  We all tried to go bowling, but the place cost like 10 $ and 5 $ per game.  I like those summer mornings in Bountiful Bowl where it hardly costs anything to go bowling.  I got a package from Amanda and friends.  It included spin it bible trivia.  I haven't opened it, but we wanted to take it to the LA's house we visited and say "This is the do or die! Whoever wins this is in the true church!"  But we had a good day and taught two lessons despite p-day.

Tuesday- We went to that LA's house one last time to see if we could get anywhere with the Book of Mormon.  We didn't, so it didn't produce much fruit, but oh well.  Darn Christians.  Also, this church believes that apostles are perfect (Peter denies Christ, All have sinned, Paul says he's horrible), that in the time of the "law" that non-israelites couldn't be saved.  We read "God is no respector of persons." At which point they said "God is a respector of persons. We live in the time of grace when everybody can be saved! Egyptians and all those people couldn't be before Christ." (Jonah preaching to Ninevites, God is no acceptor or persons, etc.)  So they're crazy and don't understand anything.  The kid who was our age was cool though, despite the differences. He really enjoyed talking with us, even though we know we would not get anywhere if we came back again.  "The correct answer was the Mormons. Repeat, the Mormons."

Wednesday- Nothing really important.  Taught our Recent converts, the Alvarado and Flores families.  They're great.  We might go do baptisms with the Flores family this Saturday, we shall see if things work out.

Thursday- The Martinez family bought us Burger King.  We got all marriage plans worked out and they are getting married on Wednesday.  Then the 25th of June they're having a little party at the church, and they get baptized the 7th!!!  Hooray!  Pics will come of that.

Friday- Tried a service bike.  Didn't really find anyone who needed service, but we talked to some cool people.  I like talking to old people.  They're super great.  Although today I was getting annoyed over little details that turn the mission rules into Mosaic Law, but that's all okay.  You know, when you hear you comp talking about how a girl can send him a list of members in her area without directly e-mailing her.  Like that matters in the long run, but what can you do.  I'll just take it with a grain of salt.  And my blood pressure is low enough that I can handle that grain of salt.

Saturday- Good day. The Martin's brought us Carl's Junior for dinner.  That was a lot of food.  I couldn't finish the double western they just gave us.  We then went to a service baptismal for the dad of a family Elder Tate baptized in his 1st area.  It was wierd cuz I didn't really know anyone there, but I ended up playing the opening hymn somehow.

Sunday- Church.  Jaime Martinez came so he's now church qualified.

Monday- Memorial day.  We had district meeting, and so as we were about to take the other elders to get a spare tire, we helped this guy get gas.  He was interesting.  It was crazy rainy today though! Like a real Texas rainstorm.  Usually rain doesn't stop us from doing anything.  Our whole district is basically out of miles, so we had to bike.  So we packed our stuff into ziploc bags, started heading out to try the Martinez family first, who live a whole 75 feet from our house, and in those 75 feet we were drenched.  Its kind of funny.  So Jaime is like opening the door and giving us a towel and telling us to come in.  We stayed there for quite a while finishing teaching what they needed to know.  Then Jaime went and bought us Church's chicken.  Which is like KFC, but probably worse for you.  They're such a great family though.  Jaime even called us because he saw us on the 90.

Well that was a lot of writing for me, and I spend more time writing you guys than normal, so enjoy my long letter. and save me some tortellini salad.  Maybe I'll buy stuff to make it soon.  Anyways, I love you, and I love the Book of Mormon.  I hope you have an awesome week. Pics to come shortly

Elder David Austin Barlow

And Elder Tate just got a call calling him to be Zone Leader I think.  Yep

Andy

Companion Inventory Raspa

Our District

Rain

Taco Bell with Keene, McDonald and Tate

That Raspa

We're in Stafford!

A Bible! A Bible! We have got a Bible, and there cannot be any more Bible.‏

Well this has been quite the week, but its always amazing on a mission.

We had a temple trip this week.  We had two hours talking with the mission and temple presidents and their wives.  We talked about being agents to act, and not be acted upon.  I have seen that this action really does work miracles.  It was worth getting to the temple at 6:30 in the morning, because its the temple, and the temple is amazing.

This week we've also been having a wonderful time with the Martinez family, the awesome people that are going to get baptized soon.  It was weird because they kind of mis-understood something about marriage, but the bishop's wife fixed it all.  They were planning on having a big party, but would wait until July 25th to get married.  That would push their baptism to a point when Tate and I probs won't be together still.  So now we're getting them married civil this week or the next, and then baptism the 31st or 7th!  So its not on your anniversary mom and dad. Sorry...

Now let me explain the subject of this e-mail.  I love the bible.  It is such an amazing book.  I read the old testament when I was like 10 right? This week though, has made me hate everything that surrounds the bible.  Tuesday we went to the house of a LA we hadn't met.  They let us in and it turns out they're all Christian, part of La Luz del Mundo.  This church is creepily similar to our own, but just so off that its probably the church of the devil.  They have a living apostle apparently, and have some messed up doctrine.  We tried to teach, but they talk to much.  In this church, they also pray to Christ, which to me, turns Christ into an idol. Takes the good and makes it bad.  What is the worst though, is the bible verses.  If the bible says so, so it is.  As Rabbit says in Pooh's gramd adventure "Never trust your ears, your eyes, your nose.  Don't put your faith in any of those.  Here's a piece of fact you must suppose, from the printed word true wisdom flows! If it says so, then it is so.  If it is so, so it is.  It isn't fit to think, unless its printed in ink, if it says so, so it is."  So this Tuesday we are meeting again and all we hope we can do is testify of the Book of Mormon, and if they reject that we are not coming back to argue.  My favorite thing that was said was something that was just completely uneducated.  He says that Christ was reading from the scriptures in the temple, (there's somewhere where he is preaching from there, I mean he was raised in Jewish law, so of course he knew the scriptures) because there is only one set of scriptures and can't be more.  I then ask "He had the New Testament?"  Quite affirmatively he replies Yes!  ..........  Wow...  That is just uneducated and blind faith if I've ever seen it.  Christ preaching from the New Testament.  I have never believed in the great and abominable church until now.  The second we let them pray their way they started bawling on the ground, I had to withhold my laughter.  This week we've also been given pamphlets by a women who says "I appreciate your sincerity, but sometimes we need to make sure we're spreading the truth!"  The pamphlet she gave us was just a bunch of bible verses.  Same with the 7th day Adventist we met (Which I really think is just a wannabe Jewish sect).  So thus here in Texas the words ring true that we read in 2 Nephi.  A Bible! A Bible! We have got a Bible, and there cannot be any more bible.  Needless to say, I'm studying the Book of Mormon now.

Friday though was a ward party for Mother's day.  That was a wonderful day.  Good food.  I always have good food here.  We also biked a lot this week.  My weight is constant and my blood pressure has not been at 120 for a few weeks now.  If it gets low enough, maybe I can take a day off to go to the doctor!  That's good. This week's been good, and I've even had some other experiences of feeling the spirit.  Oh yeah! Like right after being in that lesson with the Luz del Mundo people (it was a father and son who is our age), we had a lesson with a Less Active family that was completely different in spirit.  Its amazing just to see how the Lord works in our lives.  The spirit of Elijah is great, and keep working on Thomas!  He's out there somewhere!  I love you and am thinking about you (but only in my prayers and on Mondays ;). 

With love,

Elder David Austin Barlow

P.S. Hopefully I'll have pictures next week.  I forget to take pictures here. 

It was great to See you‏

Dear family,

It was good to see y'all too!  Glad my family is doing great and it was fun to see your faces.  It felt wierd because its only been two months since I last saw you, so Christmas will come eventually, and maybe I won't recognize any of you by then ;).  Good to hear about your week this week.  Glad you are all well.

So I forgot my journal this week, so I'm doing all my remembering by memory, so lets see what I write, or what I rant.  I guess the biggest thing this week is that the Martinez family is getting married on your anniversary!  June 12th, its the dad's birthday.  Then they will definately get baptized right after that.  Jaime was finally able to come to church this Sunday, even if just for sacrament.  It was great because I was giving a talk at church and it was all super great!

So my week.  Monday night we went to a ward Mormon Night because we thought our Recent Convert family was coming, but only the super stalwart son was there, so it was a kind of a waste of time.  Oh well, it was fun.  Tuesday was my first Zone Conference (Why did I capitalize that?).  We talked about teaching the atonement, about using family history stuff (which I have yet to actually physically help people with family history, but I hope that comes soon), and about how we are weird as Mormons and its okay.  It was fun.

Wednesday through Friday was just normal stuff, teaching lessons and stuff.  We did a lot of biking this week because we are just wasting our miles having to go to the church.  We have to pick up the bike area elders, and we had five days in a row where we had to do that last weekend.  So we're biking before the weather becomes unbearable.  I guess I'll just get used to it.  It rained pretty hard on Friday, and we found out a super awesome new investigator moved, but that was okay.  Its always super hot the day after a rain storm.

Saturday I went on transfers to the wierdest, poor area ever.  It is called Brazos and its around the city of Rosenburg.  I was with an Elder Nielsen, and it was an alright day.  We just didn't really have much in common.  Basically I'm glad I'm in Missouri City.  I can't really explain Brazos except maybe as sleepy.

So Sunday was wonderful though, because church was wonderful.  I basically already talked about everything that happened there.  I gave a talk in Spanish, Jaime came to church, and I talked to you guys.  We talked with the Martins a while after.  They're so great, and Bishop Martin is a super great guy.  We talked about how we just can't see the influence of our actions now.  Its part of mission life, and bishop went to see like so many people last week, and one family showed up at church that he visited.  It just takes time.

But I'm doing great and loving it here.  Les amo!  Estoy orando por ustedes siempre, y espero que tengan una buena semana!

Sincerely, your favorite elder, and one of your favorite sons (Like I'm definately in the top 2)

Elder David Austin Barlow

Happy Cinco de Mayo ‏ 5/5/2014

Dear family, those at home in the desert of Utah.

First off, here's my address.

550 Stafford Run Road

 Apt 1217

Stafford, Texas, 77477

We live in Stafford apartments if that helps.  Our area basically covers most of Stafford, and the Missouri City stuff around it.  The chapel is at the end of Sienna Parkway if you're on Google maps and want more.  And now on to the letter for the week.

To answer all questions, The number of wards I cover is about 1/4.  All 1/4 of the wards I cover are Spanish speaking.  Its nice though because the bishop and stake president live in our area, so we've gotten some good meals.  Its hard to get members to come with us though because the ward needs priesthood so badly.

But really, in this area, you don't have to worry about food for me.  My very first Thursday I got fed at the Stake President's house and then at the most awesome investigator's house.  And last week, we had three different people give us food on the same day.  We don't go to houses every night, but about half the time we do.  Bishop Martin (We'll be talking at his house, he is awesome) fed us and took Elder Tate and I to a barbecue place that was super good.  But really though.  You will have to call us on Skype, but I am pretty sure the Bishop will set it up with you guys.  Has he sent any e-mails to you guys yet?  He is the coolest guy ever.

This week though has been the craziest, oddest week I've had in a long time, but I guess it always is that way on a mission, but this week has just been different for some reason.  I will try to explain then.

Monday, we went and gave some random girl a blessing with the second counselor in the bishopric.  That was wierd because we kind of taught a lesson, but kind of not.

Tuesday, Okay, here I just have to talk about the most amazing investigators in the world.  The Martinez family is amazing.  They are going to get baptersized pretty soon.  I've been around when we taught the W of W and tithing.  Both were just amazing.  Basically all we had to do was say, "THis is the commandment."  Adela, the mother would then go on and tell us why we should obey that commandment, what blessings we could see, why God gave us this commandment, and she basically could teach the lessons for us.  The parents are engaged now, (They weren't married).  Their names are Jaime, Adela, and Jennifer, father, mother, daughter.  They basically feed us every time we go.  That is a picture of an amazing sandwich, I think its called a torta.

 Basically, I looove avocados soooo much!  And I've gotten to eat them here.

Wednesday,

We rode our bikes for a lot of the day to try to find LA's.  We didn't have much success, but oh well.  I was tired, but thats what biking does, and its only going to get hotter.  At least it still feels like springtime.

Thursday

Its already May? What! Crazy!  We apparently answered a LA's prayer when we picked him up.  Felipe Silva always goes with us visiting, and its nice because it lets us teach all the girls (which is a good percentage of who we teach).  He was on his last dollar at the end of his month, but he insisted on giving us both a third of his Burger King sandwich.  This is the day we got three things of food.  We ate at a members, and then the Martinez family sent us home with fajitas and amazing guac.

Friday,

Another family to tell you about!  The Blanco family is amazing.  All the kids are at least.  They got baptized about a month ago, but the mother isn't quite commiting to do anything.  She doesn't seem to know what she wants, and doesn't seem to know how to keep the Ecuadorian devil she used to live with away.  So she's stopped progressing.  The kids are awesome though.

Saturday

We had to waste miles to go give a sister a blessing.  Its usually not allowed, but president was on his day off.  We are going to be biking a lot later this month.

Sunday,

The Martinez family wasn't at church :(.  They probably have to work.  We will get them there though!

And thats really all I can think of to say to you guys, I feel like I have no time to write here!  So I will just say I love you guys and pray about you every night!  Have an awesome week, and don't worry about me! ;)  Concern and care are okay mother.  See you next Sunday.  I will expect that after church for you guys, about 5 your time, that you will call me.  Expect to be in contact with Bishop Martin to get more info.  And I don't drive yet.  I have to get a Tiwi card. Tiwi is this thing in the car that judges your driving and tells you to check your speed.  I probably will sometime in this area, but we can use a bike at times.  There are some bike areas in this mission (The other elders in the district for example.)  Maybe I'll end up in one of them eventually, but this area is awesome for now! Great place to start.  Its a nice suburb outside of Houston.  I live in apartments. And I am out of time, so that will be all.

Your favorite elder,

Elder David Austin Barlow

Elder Barlow and Elder Tate

Elder Barlow and Pres. Brian Ashton and Sis. Donna Ashton

Wait... People don't know who Mormons are? ‏ 4/28/2014

Well hello y'all, its my first week here in Texas, and I am having a wonderful time.  I don't know what I can all explain about this week in the little time I have.  Basically a week ago I was at the CCM (Not MCC ;) ) and that feels like forever ago.  Being home seems like even more forever ago.  But really, things are great and I am happy.  So how can I begin?  I'll probably just end up ranting about anything and everything I can.  We shall see how everything goes.

Lets start at Tuesday then, that will keep me organized.  Last Monday night, all the girls had already left, so it was just us and Hermano Hernandez for class.  He just talked about his missionary stories and then he bought us churros.  The most amazing churros you will ever imagine stuffed with Carjeta, bluberry, vanilla, nutella......   I'm drooling just remembering them.  So we were all packed and the other elders were leaving at like two in the morning.  We all were in the same house for the last night and we all said our goodbyes.  Tuesday morning we woke up and headed out with McKinley, Steed, and me.  We flew out of Mexico and landed in the green land of humid Texas.  It was a wonderful feeling getting here, even though we were all just extremely nervous and all had this pit in our stomach that we hadn't felt since entering the MTC.  Its like as soon as a place becomes home you have to leave....   That's the mission for ya.  We were picked up along with some English elders and went to a chapel.  We went running, and I went with an elder from Ecuador.  Running is where you just go and talk to people, and it made me feel like I was somewhat ready to be here.  Wow, everything I just said sounds like it was ages ago to me.  Tuesday night we went and slept at one of the Mission people's homes in the most comfy bed I can imagine.  She had an amazing piano, and she had some classical music books, so I played Debussy for about an hour.  If you want to send me my Debussy piano book in whatever package shows up next, that would be wonderful.  Also, you sent me the camera thing to hook it up to the TV.  I don't know if my camera came with one, but I was looking for the USB port.  Its the same kind of thing that is on iPod's.  But its okay.  I don't know if I will get you pictures because of that, we shall see.  Although the fools for Jazz picture where Bethany had red eyes made my day. Tell her good luck with finals for me.

Anyways, Wednesday we went to the mission office to be oriented.  We ate kolache's for breakfast, some Czech food found here in Texas.  Its basically a stuffed roll. Look it up, and then make some.  They're amazingly delicious.  Well now I guess I can tell you where I am and who my companion is.  I am in Missouri City NW, a little suburb outside of Houston.  There are lots of hispanics to teach here.  My companion is Elder Sydney Tate from Orem Utah.  He came on his mission last August and has only been in the area a transfer.  Basically I think we work great together.  I'm trying to be at a point where I can talk more, because basically I freeze whenever I need to OYM (Open your moth) people on the street.  I can't just talk to people, or at least I hate it.  I just have to go and feel awkward I guess.  We'll see if I can do that this week.  But its good and we work super hard. We have a car in this area, and so our mission's theme song is "Come Thou Fount,"  and basically we listen to that MoTab CD all the time.  Especially that song, but I don't mind.  Its funny because he has told me that he used to listen to metal before he went on his mission, and that just seems so unreal to me.

Thanks for the Easter package!!!! Especially the CD.  We're going to listen to it today while driving.  And thanks for the slinky and reses pieces.

So Thursday.  Man I have a lot to say, and my time is only half way up!  We have a family that is just progressing like a hurricane!  We taught the word of Wisdom, and they just loved it!  Apparently Elder Tate had taught the Law of Chastity like last week, and they weren't married, but they were just like, "We see the importance, lets get married!"  I pray that the Martinez Family gets baptized, because they really could.  THey also fed us pesole.  It was really good.  I don't know if I spelt that right, but its a chicken and some sort of rice thing soup.  I had the wierdest Deja Vu while eating it though.  Like I'd been in that apartment before eating the same thing.  Maybe I've just been somewhere similar.

We get fed a lot here, but I think I'll do okay.  Now that I'm not at a cafeteria, its easier not to just snarf food, especially when I'm making myself eggs.

Friday, I kind of already said the things I wrote in my journal Friday.r

Saturday, I got offered a cigarette for the first time in my life!  How exciting! But the investigator we were teaching then was cool.  We have had a lot to do the last few days.

Sunday,  My first day at church here was spend playing the organ!  I don't think I need to explain any more about that, just it was super great.

ANyways, I honestly can't think of anything more to say.  I've kind of ranted about how excited I am, and how awesome everything is.  My trainer and I get along, we are focused on the work, and even when I'm falling asleep during study time, I'm working as hard as I physically can.  I pray for you guys! ANd I love you all!

Your favorite elder,

Elder David Austin Barlow.

Oh, and about my subject, that is the only thing that has completely and utterly surprised me while on my mission.  I just thought that everybody knew who Mormons were in this day and age.  I guess not.